Proper Update.

Not having any school really does something to a person's body clock, I use to live in a GMT +8 body clock, but at this point I'm pretty sure I've just went to... too lazy to calculate.

Not only am I sleeping at 3 am every night and waking up at 12.30 pm every day, at this point in time I can't even remember what day it's suppose to be today because I've been staying at home since school ended all day. I would be a healthier version of a basement dweller I suppose since I dwell in a corner near the window where I can actually get some sunlight once in a while to photosynthesis.

I might probably go out one day just for the sake of going out because after a while its just really sad and the background music in my head just gets really really depressing. Plus I am really wanting to drink me some KOI Bubble Tea. I never understand how people can't taste the difference between KOI and a random Bubble Tea store.

"Hmmm... no difference what? So disappointing, queue so long but the tea not up to my standard."

Obviously it's not "up to standard" when what you had in mind was a cocaine laced bubble tea drink with super delicious pearls that have a soft centered filling of awesomeness. But than again everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if that opinion isn't right.... and by right I mean whatever I think is right. Kthxbye

I've actually decided to remove the rant I made yesterday about someone I met online because writing that just made me realize how much I need to get my ass out of my house. The moment you start thinking your online buddies are real life friends, its time to ask your Mum to grab the broom to chase you out of the house to get a life.

My 21st Birthday happened 5 days ago and unlike everyone out there who take their 21st Birthday "really seriously", I stayed at home and ate this delicious durian cake my Mum bought as my birthday cake... It was f*cking delicious... Angie's Choice is like the KOI of cake shops in Singapore.

But if I were to have a 21st Birthday Party, it's gonna be the most self centered, most obnoxious 21st Birthday Party ever.

And the theme shall be~

"Me.! Me.! Me.!"

Screw You. It's all about me today."

It's good to be honest. People will have to dress according to me. If I want you to dress as a bunny, you had better come in a hopping to my house in a bunny costume.

^^

Someone's been watching too many Super Sweet 16....

I get why she's pissed about it... when I am about to get a new car for my birthday, I want to show it off to EVERYONE in my party... not just my close friends, Spoiled Attention Seeking Brats should deserve all the Attention they want.

Argirly

The past few weeks have been spend playing Aion. I don't even feel good telling people about it anymore...

School ended like 3 weeks ago, I think, and during that period of time I have done absolutely nothing useful , I mean animals are still facing extinction, the sea waters are still getting polluted by oils spills and my macaron making techniques are still not on par with Pierre Herme.

So I was shown my graduation picture ahead of time... like before it will be published in the graduation book and shared with the entire world because I have a friend who was doing the photos, and I was horrified at the picture... like the majority of people in my class when they saw my picture their own pictures. It wasn't pretty at all.

Crazy Level Up

I haven't actually been following the Grammy Awards at all, which explains why I didn't realise the whole new level of crazy Lady Gaga has reached.

Kinder Surprise. Lady Gaga Edition

When I first saw it I can't help imagining how the interior looked like, because it looks quite comfortable to me. I have this fascination of hiding myself in an enclosed space in crowded spaces. <- Pretty sure I have S.A.D at this point.

It's funny how the interview on the Red Carpet went when Lady Gaga and her posse were being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest . Anything Ryan Seacrest asked with relation to Lady Gaga being inside the egg was replied with...

"She's incubating right now."

Ryan : What's she wearing exactly?

Model : I can't tell you. She's incubating right now.

Ryan : Is it comfortable in there?

Model : She's in the process of incubation right now. She's been there for a very long time.

Ryan : Can you hear me Lady Gaga?

Model : *Gaga squeezes her face to the shell and the model starts pointing* She's currently incubating.

The keyword for the interview : Incubation

It was quite funny because you know it's probably like a sauna in the egg capsule, I could see like vapor forming inside the capsule, Lady Gaga must have been sweating so much that she created a hot-spring with her own sweat inside that egg.

There was a part on the interview where they told Ryan Seacrest Lady Gaga won't be coming out of the capsule until her performance, which I think is a lie.

You can tell from the red carpet picture that she was wearing a black dress or shirt or whatever definition you have for the things Gaga put on herself.... but when she broke out of the egg to sing her song, she was in a toga. They obviously had to take her out of her egg before she drowned in her hot spring of sweat.

Right now I'm just very curious as to how the interior of the egg looked like because if it's true that Lady Gaga stayed in the egg till her performance.... Where does she store her mini wardrobe?

Happy Lunar New Year

Happy Lunar New Year.

Chinese New Year is definitely better than Christmas...

First of all, instead of getting presents that I will probably never use ever, like a self help book titled "Controlling the Urges to stick a Toothbrush Down Your Throat." I get Red Packet money to buy stuff that I will really use, like a spare toothbrush to stick down my throat.

And secondly, I get to be abused by my cousins more than once. Last Christmas they threw toy cars at my face, this Lunar New Year my face was almost whacked by a Wii-Mote my cousin was happily swinging around while playing Warioware. It was as if I was in a movie show where I barely dodged a bullet, I literally felt a breeze as he swung his Wii-Mote near the back of my head.

I have no idea what day of the Lunar New Year this is, but I'm pretty sure I'm done for the New Year since I have no intention of letting of my friends visit my house nor do I have any intention of going to theirs because I have so many request it's just exploding my email inbox.... I have to keep telling them No but they just wouldn't listen to me. Even went to their house to beg them to come and they didn't even bother to answer the door.

Anyways, right before Chinese New Year, I was on Facebook as usual stalking every single classmate of mine to see their progress on their FYP, (I just felt a rush of sian-ess as I wrote FYP, yup, just felt that rush again) and on their wall they write things like...

"FYP so many things to do, No CNY for me."

"Bye Bye CNY, FYP all the way."

... and being the person who takes everything literally, I thought they were really gonna forgo CNY celebrations and just stay at home the whole day doing their FYP. That just made me felt really stressful because I had every intention to go visit my cousins and grab money from my Aunties and Uncles, which means while I'm busy taking money from my Aunties and Uncles, they are gonna be at home doing their 3D renderings and Construction drawings.

First day of CNY, I log into Twitter and I see tweets that range from "Gonna go for my nail manicure today." all the way to "On the way to Malaysia to visit my relatives.". Nice!

That being said, I think I would be writing things like them if I was active on Facebook, although I really do believe some of the really hardworking ones really did not celebrate CNY at all, like all the Malay people... and some Chinese people which I don't understand why they would actually skip taking free Red Packets. It's money that you don't have to bend-over for people.

Ah well, before CNY my mood was completely destroyed by my grades. Although I knew I wouldn't be getting a B or an A for my grades, it still sucks to see a C and D appearing on the list. I just wanna flip the lecturers off sometimes. Thanks to them I am no longer gonna pursue Interior Design when I graduate. I manage to waste my time going to a school that specializes in Engineering for a design course, to a course that doesn't even have a firm foundation of design and doing projects that are in no way related to Interior Design, almost half the projects I've done in school have no link at all. I remember telling my Secondary School friends what I was doing for my FYP and they were a little shocked because instead of designing a space, I was designing a bridge. THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A WASTE OF TIME.

Alright, thats all the negativity this post is gonna get.

Gonna take my NAPFA on Monday. What I need is not luck, but a miracle to even pass.

Medical Check-Up

Today was the day that would decide my fate for my NS days. Initially I was feeling quite alright as I entered the place, there were a moderate amount of guys awaiting turn to enter the various stations for their check-ups.

First station was to test my hearing where I tried to fake partial deafness. Didn't work because I didn't do enough research pre-checkup on how a person with partial deafness would react to sound. Followed by the eye-check up which I aced... and they say staring at the computer screen for an prolong period of time forces you to wear glasses. I'm living proof that that is a myth. I'm in no way responsible if you actually go blind from staring at your computer screen for too long.

Next up was X-Ray. Stand in front of a machine and press your bare chest against it with your hands to your back while the person-in-charge humps you from the back and tells you to call him Daddy.

After which was the station I was dreading the most, the blood taking station. Damn needles just freaks me out. Whoever started the lie "Like ants bite only, not pain one." obviously is a masochist, at least define the type of ant because those ants that I squash on a daily basis do not sting like a needle does. Now there's this red spot on my hand that looks like I got bitten by a fire ant.... or syphilis.

Dental was next and it was funny when the guy started telling his assistant all the fillings that

were found in my teeth....

"Upper-row fourteenth, verniers

"Bottom-row, fifteenth, cheap fillings from Malaysia"

"Top Left corner teeth, not erupted."

After 2 minutes he just punches my entire mouth to makes his life easier.

"Colour everything black, these kid doesn't have any teeth."

By the way, the cheap filling from Malaysian is not a lie, it's really cheaper there, albeit uglier but who cares when your teeth is already jacked up.

I can't remember if there were anymore station but I'm guessing after that dental one was the one where I had to enter a room, remove my top and join all the other half naked guys. Wasn't a pleasant sight at all... I felt a little uncomfortable to be honest because I was the only one who was turning everyone on. There were boobies here and spare tires there it was very very confusing.

Looking back now I should have told the Medical Officer all the "medical problems" I had. I was trying to be discreet and not over do it because if the MO finds out you are faking your conditions or exaggerate it... you might get get screwed in the butt... and I didn't need that because my ass was still sore from calling the X-Ray Station guy Daddy.

In the end I got a PES B because I was, according to the Medical Officer "Too thin and had eczema, which isn't that serious," <- I'm not The Apprentice material because Donald Trump would be so disappointed in me, like how I am at myself now.

Why B? Why B?

Once Bitten Twice Shy.

Today I had to do a presentation in school that I wasn't aware of. Thankfully my group-mates did a few slides and decided to give me some to pass of as my own which made me feel really bad. I blame my Final Year Project.

So whilst presenting the slides, the class, as usual, was filled with a bunch of students who are spirited away mentally and being someone who's desperate for attention like the whore that I am, I decided to do something even worse than giving a two dollar blow job.

I made a joke, which in my mind at that time thought was funny. Not "LOL" funny but I was thinking it might get a few chuckles from people who are feeling sorry at my attempt of making a terrible joke and are laughing to avoid that awkward silence.

My aim was to explain what contrast means and I wanted to give an example. In order to allow the lifeless bodies of the students in my class to understand better what it meant... I made a stupid analogy that went like this...

"I have 2 food. A Burger and a Salad. When I eat the burger, I will feel full and fat and if I were to eat a salad, I would feel good about myself and still be hungry. Contrast."

Not so funny now that I am reading it over again so obviously no one laughed because they didn't really know that the sentence was even meant to be a joke.

After which I said....

"Great... I made a joke and no one laugh."

... in a very annoyed tone because I just bombed in front of a bunch of people I was trying to perk up, right after that I heard someone going "Huh?".... her spirit suddenly came back to her body for that one second to go "Huh?".

I just wasted my breath on a bunch on people who don't get sarcasm. FANTASTIC.

And then I realize this scenario happened before... twice. Because I tried too hard on an audience that don't get it. Obviously the saying (blog title) doesn't apply to me because I'm desperate attention seeking man whore who would do anything for a laugh from the audeince.

A certain type of CAN'T

I feel like I have to disclaimer here... I'm not talking about Women in general... just the small group whose actions make them look like a certain private part that helps in the process of creating life.

I've always been fascinated by girls who like to provoke guys to do things by questioning their manhood...

"Come'on, do it. Be a man."

"You have no balls to do it? And you call yourself a man."

And by fascinated I mean a great distaste towards such woman.

It's one thing to tell a man to do things for you because you really need help like telling them to lick your elbows because you can't reach it with your own tongue... but it's another to tell a guy to do embarrassing things or things that will land them in big trouble just to entertain you .

Just today, I had one female classmate telling me and another guy friend of mine to test out some machine that we shouldn't be touching and being someone who knows what's right and wrong... I just smiled at her direction, shook my head and declined her offer to try out that machine... and her retort...

"You are GUYS... No balls."

The more girls like her provoke me by telling me nonsense like ...."And you call yourself a guy." or "Dude, be a man and help me.".... the more I won't do what they tell me to. I don't have to prove anything to you...I'm gonna grab a ball and shove it up your... and now you have more balls than me.

Don't be a f*cking cunt.

It's so freaking annoying when certain girls treat guys like their personal slave and tell them to do things in a very condescending manner....

"My handbag very heavy, carry for me !"

"Open the car door for me."

"*cough* *cough*.... *looks at chair*... * cough* *cough*"

Unless you are carrying a unisex bag... Think... Your boyfriend might start appearing on STOMP because a guy and a LV Monogram Multicolor Women Bag doesn't look good on a guy. You want them to be more "MAN" but you make them carry a women handbag because you hands are about to break from carrying your bag that has your make-up ,wallet, handphone, a giant elephant and a 100 kg dumbbell.

And apparently because the bag's so bloody heavy you hands are too tired to open the car door... its a guys job to open the car door or pull out the chair for the girl because it's "chivalrous"... that's why it's the chauffeurs and waiters that always gets the ladies.

If a girl were to demand me to "Open the door for me because you are a guy."... her ass is gonna meet the floor when we are at the restaurant.

Guy will pull out the chair for you to sit because it's our duty as a guy to help you ladies get seated first and not because we're your personal slave that needs to do everything for you.

Get this in your f*cking head.

To those dumb girls who have such a mentality....

WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THE F*CKING KITCHEN MAKING US A SANDWICH!